Welcome to our journey... the (not so) easy does it, IUI turned IVF journey. Join us each step of the way. We hope that our experiences help guide others as they go through the same hurdles, pain and expense of infertility and at the same time, making light of situations and celebrating all who have a positive outcome :)
Today is Monday, 3 days after my not so great trip to the doctor. I have sat around the house this weekend with a huge amount of emotions running through my body. I have cried, I have worried, I have laughed, I have been thankful, I have been mad and I have cried some more. After being told that IVF was my only logical option for having another child...it has taken a toll on me emotionally. We have two choices at this time, either pay the $20,000 and have a money gaurantee that we will have a successful pregnancy past 12 weeks OR to just stop here with our attempt at having our final child. This has been a painful journey so far. I never imagined I would be in the situation I am in after being blessed with 3 beautiful, healthy children in 1996, 1999 and in 2001. I took for granted that I could have children effortlessly.
This weekend Ryan and I have thought and talked alot about where we go from here. This is our fork in the road, a point where we stop and reflect on what to do and the consequences of each decision.
And.... we have decided to move forward with IVF with double placement, meaning that we will have 2 fertilized eggs placed into my uterus with the hopes that at least 1 will take.
I applied for a loan today to cover the medical expense of the procedure and medications. Total we are looking at $20,000. I guess at first it seems like alot, but when you think about it...most people pay this for a car. If we can afford this for a vehicle...we can make it happen for our child. This will put off our building a house until this loan is paid for...which again isn't a problem, we have waited this long...what's another year?
I refuse to give up on something we have waited on for a long, long time...
We have an appointment with Dr.Deaton and the IVF coordinator on next Tuesday, April 5th.
Well, yesterday was rough. Much more difficult than I expected and not at all what I had pictured was coming. I was prepared for possibly several months of unsuccessful intra-uterine inseminations. I was ok with the possibility of it taking a few months to work, even though I was hoping that it would work on try #1. Ryan and I had come to terms with the fact that we would have to sacrifice time, money and heartache in order to conceive our child. Many nights, we have laid in the bed...cuddled up and talked about "why us?" A conversation that is not easy for either of us.
My appointment yesterday was for a 2nd sonogram to measure the egg follicles in my ovaries with the hopes that at least one of them had grown to 18 mm so that we could proceed with the first round of IUI. This, however...is not what happened. My follicles measured the exact same as they did on Monday. No growth at all even after taking 5mg. of Femera. After the nurse, Paula, took a few sonogram pictures of my ovaries she suggested that Dr. Deaton may go ahead and restart the medicine to bring on another period and restart the process again but increase my dose of Femera to 7.5mg. At this point, I reminded her that we were self-pay patients and had no insurance (not that the majority of insurance companies would pay for infertility treatments to begin with) I also pointed out that we were not only dealing with PCOS on my side, but also with male factor infertility(lower sperm count/quality) on my husbands side. I explained to her that if we had low chances of IUI working with both of those factors and also the fact that so far my body was not responding to the fertility medications...that I wanted to know what Dr. Deaton honestly felt like we should do in order to be the most cost effective. She left the room to go discuss this with my doctor.
I guess deep down I was hoping she would come back with news that my doctor was optimistic that increasing the Femera would increase my chances with IUI or that he was going to be able to wave a magic wand and make everything ok. Instead, she brings me 3 things. A prescription, a booklet....and an apology.
She said that based on my lack of response to the Femera coupled with the male factor, that Dr. Deaton suggested we go ahead and move away from the IUI procedure and onto IVF. She handed me a prescription for Prometrium in order to bring on another period, since I obviously was not going to ovulate this cycle. She also handed me a booklet and began explaining the shared risk IVF program that they offer. At this point, I felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach and much of what she was saying at this point resembled Charlie Brown's teacher. It was very much a blur. My mind was going so fast that I couldn't even pay attention at this point. I felt sick to my stomach and a bit light headed and really just wanted to run out crying....because I knew what IVF entailed, alot of up front money that we don't have.
Soon after talking with Paula, I left. I swear I sat in the car for 20 minutes staring at the building, trying my best to deal with what I had just been told. I cried and had myself a pity party there in the parking lot, then I began to flip through the booklet I was given. $20,000 is basically what we were looking at for the IVF, medications and all pre-IVF labwork. With the shared risk program, we would be guaranteed a pregnancy that lasted through the 1st trimester (which is when most miscarriages take place) If no pregnancy results or if we miscarry...all but $2,000 of our money is refunded. IVF Risk Sharing from Dr. Deaton's website
I decided not to call Ryan while he was at work to tell him. I knew this was a conversation that we needed to have in person... and tonight, we talked some...but mostly it was alot of quiet moments. Neither of us really had to say anything at all. At this point I think we are both just letting this all sink in. Seems at times like this, just him holding me is enough. We are planning to spend the weekend together and to talk about where we go from here.
I just got back from my very first sonogram to check my uterus lining and my ovaries for egg follicles. Let me just begin by saying that a vaginal ultrasound is uncomfortable when the tech can't find what they are looking for. My right ovary was easy to find...but the left one was hiding. At one point I thought that jelly covered wand was gonna come protruding through my abdomen. After having no luck on the left side, the tech moved to a abdomen ultrasound and was able to locate the ovary.
Results:
My uterine lining looks good, but still a bit thin. My right ovary has 11 measurable follicles with the largest one measuring at only 9.5mm. The left ovary has only 2 measurable follicles with the largest of those being 11mm. In addition to the measurable follicles in both ovaries, there are many other very small ones.
I have tons of follicles...they are just still early/small. If I had to visualize what that looks like in there...it would be something like this :)
Ideally, my doctor wants follicles at 18mm before moving forward with my trigger shot and scheduling the IUI. I have to return this Friday for another ultrasound and hopefully we will have a few mature follicles at that point. IUI could be as soon as this weekend.
I just took my first dose of 5 mg (2 of the 2.5mg pills) Based on how much we paid for it, I just swallowed a little over $40 bucks! But anyway, I actually was excited to begin taking it today.
I have been reading alot of reviews on Femara and it's success rates and have found alot of great results, even with women who have PCOS :)
Prescription: Femara 2.5 MG...take 2 once per day for 5 days beginning on day 3 of cycle. Costs: $186.00 for 10 pills Instructions: On cycle day 11, go into office for ultrasound to observe egg follicles
I actually started spotting yesterday and it turned into a slight flow around 4pm. As directed I called my fertility doctor as soon as I started bleeding so they could give me the next set of instructions. Because the flow did not begin until late in the afternoon, they are considering today as DAY 1 of my cycle. I begin my Femara prescription on DAY 3-Sunday and take 2 pills per day for 5 days. (Femara is the wonder drug costing $189 for ten pills!) Then on Monday the 21st, on DAY 11 of my cycle, I go in to the doctor office for an ultrasound. During the ultrasound, they will be looking for large matured egg follicles. If the eggs are ready, then they will instruct me on when to take my shot of Pregnyl (HCG). Also, at this appointment...they will instruct me on how to mix and give myself the shot.
I will take my last dose of Prometrium tonight. So far, no break through bleeding or even spotting. The doctor says I should start a period within about 9 days of my last dose.
For those of you who may be wondering about side effects, on 1/2 of the original prescribed amount, the only side effect I have noticed is breast tenderness.
If you read this and you name you child one of the names I have picked out before I get a chance to...please be warned. I will not change my child's name because you stole my idea.... (not joking)
Ok, so last night I took half of my Prometrium prescription like my doctor said....and it worked. No drunk feeling! Now....let's get on with the show :)
Ok, so I am on day 6 of a 10 day prescription of 200mg Prometrium. Yesterday I took it, along with my other daily medications (unrelated to PCOS) and had a horrible reaction. I took it when I took my 11 year old son to breakfast. Now, I am supposed to take the Prometrium at night...but I forgot it the night before so I did what the instructions said and "took as soon as I remembered." Thankfully we were not far from home, because it affected me so bad that I could not walk straight, much less drive. Ethan ended up driving home, sitting on my lap....where I was almost in a comatose stage. He later told me of how he ran off the road one time on the way home...which I don't remember happening. I do remember when we got home, I stumbled through the yard as if I were extremely drunk. I called Ryan and obviously he was concerned with my slurred speech, so he came home to find me passed out in the bed. He called my fertility doctor and they said not to mix the medicines again and to only take at night time.
Well, that bring us to last night. I took my medicine (the Prometrium only) just before going to lay down. I read only about 4 pages in my book before I began to get sleepy. I woke up at 12am with slurred speech and was unable to walk. Ryan had to help me walk to the bathroom and back to bed, where I was restless and feeling drunk again. My back was killing me which didn't help with my tossing and turning :(
Obviously this reaction I am having is a result of the Prometrium and has nothing to do with my other medicines in conjuction with it.
I looked up some more info on Prometrium and under the "serious but rare side effects" section it listed slurred speech and difficulty walking. I have a call into my doctor. Needless to say I will not be taking the rest of this medicine. I hope 6 days of it was enough to make me have a period, ugh!
